SAHM - It's all the hype, but is it worth it? Part 1

[MyPacifier]

YES!!! Well, maybe...well, sometimes, no!

There is my answer. Simple, to the point. Confusing, most definitely.

FYI: SAHM=stay at home mom

Let me start by saying that I have a 14 year old, a 13 year old, a 2 year old (all girls) and my newest addition a 4 month old boy. When my first two were born, there was no such thing as "parental leave" and "maternity leave" was, if I remember correctly, only 20 weeks. After my first born, I went back to work when she was 3 months old. I didn't have a choice. I was a restaurant manager in a small city and the Christmas season was approaching. After my second, I was sent away, 3 hours away, for training with a new restaurant when she was only 8 weeks old. I had a great babysitter across the street that had a home daycare (we were friends too) and she loved my girls as much as I did. My husband had a good "city" job, we were in our early 20's and we were working for our future (extravegant dreams more like it) and didn't want to live paycheck to paycheck. I missed their first tooth, their first time crawling, thier first words, their first steps, pretty much their first everything. At the time, it was a little sad, but it was what had to be done. The "working" thing, I mean.

That seems like a lifetime ago. Things in my life changed. My husband, my city of residence, my career and my way of thinking. My assessment of what is truly important in MY life changed. I loved my career. I was good at my career. I loved the people I met in my career but I missed the most important things in my life, my family! My kids! I loved them much more than my career and my career took up more time in my day than I ever realized until I didn't have to "punch a clock" anymore.

Now I am a SAHM with a new business. I love my new business! I am not so sure that I love the SAH part though.

When you go to work you leave behind the laundry, the dishes, the "to-do" list, the gardening, the vacuuming, etc. You get to talk to adults. You get to eat lunch. You get to go to a "make shift" world where you are, or at the least, think you are, important. You get to receive a paycheck for the work you do. I do not get to enjoy any of these perks anymore. I get to say goo-goo, gah-gah all day. I get to do work only when (or should I say IF) both kids are napping. I walk by all of the household mess when I have to go to the bathroom if I even get to go to the bathroom. (Yes, you never thought of that...you can go to the bathroom whenever you want, for however long you want!) And then let me reiterate the "paycheck" thing. I work hard now. Probably even harder than I did in my career. I don't have benefits, a dental plan, a drug plan, a pension or even a guarantee of how much money will go through my account any given day, let alone week or month or year. As for the being important part...well I know my kids love me. I know that I am important to them. It's not the "important" that I am talking about. I mean the pat on the back for meeting the deadline, the raise for a job well done, the office with a door because you are an asset to the company and need your personal space.

Operating your own business from home is not all jelly beans and lollipops as those who have an employer may believe. The idealism of getting up whenever you want, sitting at the computer in your pj's all day long & cash flow galore may be our dream but it is most certainly not our reality!


Stay tuned foe Part 2 coming soon...maybe at nap time or 3am feeding time!